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2003-03-11 23:19:18 (UTC)

Stolen Imaginary Friends of Burkina Faso

hold the butter while i make this short...

excuse me...(coughs) it seems to me that there is someone
in this whole make believe diary entry world that we
partake in that has, quite frankly, stolen something of
mine that i want back...this certain someone, i won't name
names, but this certain someone has stolen my JANN, MY
JANN, and used her for his own purposes...did i say his? i
guess that means its a boy right...well i'll give you that
information that's fine with me...but this person must
STOP using JANN immediately before i get lawyers involved
and have to seriously kick his ass...oh wait this person
doesn't have an ass...hmmm that means it could only be one
person that i know of...ALESSANDRO USE YOUR OWN MAKE
BELIEVE PEOPLE YOU BITCH! JANN IS MINE AND ONLY MINE AND
SHE WILL NOT BE SHARED! I CREATED THE WHORE THEREFORE THAT
MAKES HER MINE NOT YOURS! JESUS CHRIST GRANDMA ITS NOT
YOUR FUCKING JANN ITS MY JANN I MADE HER ME MELORA NOT
YOU! Well now that that is out in the open and people will
cease using my imaginary friends i feel alot better
now...i feel like i can't even use Jann for a while
because she has been tarnished and her innocence ripped
out of her pure, supple being by an evil evil gay man with
an obession with men who he cannot have...i will need to
enter jann into therapy and rehab now...she'll make it out
ok...i don't know if i will...this man whom i speak of
will be punished Jann, punished, and he will never walk
again! (well he needs to recover for wednesday because
its college night at 5 and we need to dance because i am
breaking my NO CASUAL SEX rule and i need him there
because he has an uncanny ability to attract men that are
so hot and he can communicate so well with them...oh wait
that's not him that's me...hahaha...i totally mixed that
up for a second...yeah forget it he doesn't need to come
he doesn't do nothing that bitch but ruin my sexual
chances, that sex-ruiner!)

me heart is asunder for you Jann! oh woe! I will never
ever let anyone touch you or abuse you like that
again...it is my duty to protect you at all costs...for
now, my sweet sweet Jann, I have become...

FLAMINGO MAN -- DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS EVIL WHO CAN DANCE
UP A STORM AND USE TRACK LIGHTING TO WARM UP YOUR LIVING
ROOM FOR A LOW COST OF $25 PER FOOT!

I WILL USE MY FLAMINGO POWERS AND USE MY LONG LEGS TO
POUNCE ALL MY ENEMIES AND REACH NEW HEIGHTS ALL IN AN
EFFORT TO SAVE JANN FROM THE EVIL DR. WISHASS, WHO HAS
KIDNAPPED HER AND VOWED TO USE JANN TO RID THE ENTIRE
CANADIAN POPULATION OF THEIR ASSES.

DR. WISHASS...I AM COMING FOR YOU!

love you world and all its inhabitants
renzo

p.s. on oprah today when i woke up at 4:15 and missed
helping Jo paint and her meeting in which she will tear
off each bit of foreskin i have and use it to tear apart
each eye of mine in little pieces and then use those
pieces to rip apart my fingernails, yeah on oprah they
were talking about fully engaging your body...worry about
your energy not your time! i love new age!


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