nobodys angel

mine not yours
2003-03-11 15:06:09 (UTC)

to you, my old best friend

Am i really that big of a pain that you feel the need to
ignore me, because my dumb problems are
insignificant? sure, help hose that need help , but don't
forget those that don't, bitch!!

it used to bug me when you two wrote notes and then
we werote notes and you never told me what you two
were talking about, and then it bugged me when you
two got together, and then it bugged me when you told
me something, told me not to tell him, and the next
thing i know, you're talking to him about your problem. i
used to think it was just because i give bad advice.
but this is rediculous!! you don't tell me anything at all
anymore. you just talk to him.

he tells me your problems, and you haffta tell me his
problems. and the truth is, i don't care about either of
your problems anymore.

we talk about suicide and bad things and how you hte
life andymore. we don't have any more fun. we talk
about something until one of us gets pissed, then we
have to make up for it somehow by making the other
pissed person feel better.

i'm sick and tired of making you two feel better. i'm sick
and tired of competing for attnetion and saying i'm
sorry.

it doesn't matter what you two do to eachother,
somehow you're always back to normal acting like
lovebirds the next day anyway. but we never talk. we
never have fights. i am losing all of my friends left and
right. i want to make new friends so bad, it's almost
killoing me, but you never let me go meet new peple,
afraid to share the quiet one who now cowards in a
corner.

I don't blame anyone but you two for your boyfriend's
suicide attempt. it was meant to be said to him, it
wasn't an missunderstanding, it was the truth. you are
to blame. you really are. you are always on top of
gump 24/7 you talk to him or wish you were talking to
him every breath you take.

go ahead and step on me. you have for months, i just
haven't noticed it. but i notice it now. i know you are
walking all over me. i guess that makes me the dumb
one.

sure, i'm dumb. sure i'm ugly. sure i'm fat. but i'm also
lonely. nobody wants to be lonely. me and lonely is not
a good combination anymore.

everything was fine until he came along. he's ruined
us. and now you two go and talk about your terrible
problems. i don't have any. the onyly problme i have
anymore is you two. we were such good friends. then
he sat next to us, with us, and now he's one of us. you
two get together once a week after school, too. so now
i haffta put up with any rumors that are going around
about you two spening so much time together. it's just
not right.

i need someone. NEW




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