Jules420

The Adventures of Jules Santana
2003-03-10 14:44:23 (UTC)

Stronger....than yesterday....

Well for the first time in a long time I am very proud of
myself for being strong and sticking to my guns. It's been
a while since I last wrote in this diary, but it seems like
I should update. I have been away at training for the past
couple of days of work, which in my opinion was the
downfall of me because it gave me the opportunity to shop
for clothes during my lunch break, oh yeah and to buy a new
cell phone. Maybe my mother was right when she said that
too much free time for me can prove to be dangerous. But
it was fun anyway. Me and Wanda finally got our shit
together enough to have a little shin dig to celebrate
beth’s birthday. It was fun especially since my parents
were out of town and my brother has just come back from
school for his spring break. I’m excited to hang out with
him of course though. But anyway, I’m still following my
new idea of writing throughout the day and then just
copying it into the journal. But it has been a good time
but the title of this entry is called “Stronger” and the
reason that I did this is because I finally conquered
something that I thought I wasn’t strong enough to do, and
that is not have sex with Orlando. He came over with
everyone else this weekend for Beth’s party, and we all had
a wonderfully fabulous time, Wanda even proved that she
actually can cook a little something something. But
anyway, he was over and the sleeping arrangements were such
that he was sleeping in the same bed with me. Well for the
first time I actually slept in the same bed with him and
didn’t make out or even kiss him. He did however, turn
over and throw his arm around me while we slept, which was
just good for the level of comfort that I like to be held
when I sleep. But beyond that I didn’t do it. Now I will
ay that Orlando did make it pretty easy on me not to hook
up with him being as though he showed up at my house and we
were all hanging out and having a good time but still he
slept in the chair and kept passing out just like he did
the last weekend, and that pissed me off, and I totally
don’t even find that remotely attractive. So it worked out
pretty good. But I did get sorta weak at some point because
I wanted to just drink and make-out with him, but
thankfully my parents came home and that was like an
intervention. It was good though, and I feel slightly
empowered by the whole situation. Maybe I am actually
moving on. Hmmm ?




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