anon.

Entries.
2003-03-10 04:26:33 (UTC)

fumbling.

I cant find the words to say how i feel. Amidst this soap
opera I call my life, I have found you. I have realized a
lot about how I should feel, how I could feel, and how I
would feel. For the first time in sooo long, I feel like I
belong. But I don't want to. Something inside me holds me
back. Fear. I want to be happy. I want to see the same
beauty in my eyes that i see in hers. Today, something was
wrong. I was worried all day, to find out it was nothing.
But even finding out it was nothing did not bring me
relief. I don't know why. I am too worried that something
stupid will end all of this. And i very much want it to
last. At least long enough that I can get something out of
it. Again though, the feelings in my head cannot easily be
replicated with sentences, so I will end this entry and
return to my thoughts, where I can understand.




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