Worcs Of A Dangerus Mind
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2003-03-10 00:34:36 (UTC)

Coming back from no wheres

as i said, yesterday wasnt a good day at all. i seemed to
have pissed people off w/ what i wrote previously...the
thing about lindsey. it turns out u cant love 2 people at
once i guess. i mean i do, but if u do, everyone hates u
and therefore thinks u dont love the one that u r dating,
that u deeply love the other one, who u are denying a
chance w/. but o well. i am suck and fucking tired of
people trying to tell me how I feel. thing is no one else
knows how i do cause no one else is in a situation like me.
and then yesterday the one person i can usualy turn to
for help about all this, turned her back on me. and
basicaly said that i was never her friend just she
pretended to be cause her and ballz r friends. thanks
idt people realize that me and ballz r happy
together...everyone notices this and trys to screw things
up. yesterday was the 1st time me and ballz even once
agrued, and it really wasnt even a fight.
i always thought that me and lindsey were meant for each
other, but i mean thinking about it. in a way, it seems as
tho me and ballz were. the fact that we were together in
5th grade, and that i remember the very second i heard her
name, and every little detail about it. and that even after
lossing lindsey, i can find a great girl. she asked me the
other day "why did you pick me out of all the other girls
you could have"....regretful as i am to say this its cause
i tryed all of them already. and i thought i found my
match, but that ended up screwing up. fact is i dont know
y i "choose" her. i dnt even no that i did. i am so blind
by her, i just dont know anything. me and ballz have been
friends for a long time, i have helped her threw so much
shit.... and she has helped me as well. i was there when
she found out some diturbing news about her dad....and she
was there when i was at my very lowest.
i have spent many entrys determing the meaning of love,
and what it is like...but i never once talked about the
more common thing, and in many ways, the more important
FRIEND-A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A
person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person with whom
one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One who
supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause,
or movement.
thats how the ditionary definds friends. friendship,
well true friendship is pretty much the only garantee we
have other than death. if they are really ur friend u can
tell the fucking ANYTHING, with complete trust. best friend
or not. the difference between a friend and a best friend
is ur "best" friend is just a friend u spend more time w/.
u shouldnt trust them any much more. but i aint gonna lie,
u do. i mean i dont have a BEST friend, cause i loose
everyone by my own fuckups. but still, i have had some best
friends in my life.... and now to have none, kinda gives me
experience. well i dont feel like typeing anymore. the
song of the day is gonna be ironic, and on perpose.
i lost everyone today

Song of the day:
The Rembrandts-I'll Be There For You

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