IrishEyes

My piece of reality
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2003-03-09 16:08:43 (UTC)

confusion sucks

lately.....life has gotten more confusing than ever. i
dont know so much how thats possible, but life is full of
surprises eh??
john and i havent talked in a week or maybe a little over.
its wierd not talkin to him, but i think i expected myself
to miss it more than i actually did.
i went to the beach with his little sister jess yesterday
and our friends matt and sean showed up and hung out with
us. a little while later, john and his cousins came too. i
walked up and said hi to him and then walked away. i dont
know why i didnt stay around him like i usually do, i was
surprised with myself. but i just went back and sat down
and talked to matt and sean. thats where things start
gettin confusing. matt. we met over the summer cuz hes one
of johns friends, and he hung out with us all summer and
for a little bit of the school year. after the beach, we
all went to eat and then matt sean and i went to the
movies and hung out at matts later that night. when we
were at matts, he had his arms around me and we were
cuddlin on the couch. it was odd cuz its johns friend and
i'm just startin to get over john. he walked me out to my
car and was like well this was different......and he
kissed me goodnight and said hed call me. i dont know
whats goin on at all anymore.
now this is where it gets worse. theres another kid that i
have been talkin to lately. his names josh. and hes the
cutest thing ever. he makes me smile just to be around
him. we talked for a really long time the other night and
we have so much in common. we're just gettin to know each
other and whatnot, but still. i dont know what to think
about all this. theres so many guys all at once. i'm still
in love with john and will be for a long time i think, and
i really like josh, and then matt gets thrown in the mix.
we'll see how this all pans out i guess.
JGH


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