All That I Am
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2003-03-08 06:50:00 (UTC)

What Once Was One

I'm absolutely dead broke! As in my checking account is
currently in the negatives. I do get paid on the 15th
though so I should be alright. I basically have to beg my
mom for cab fare though. I hate having to beg for money.
Once I get a damn car (hopefully in a few days!) I'm going
to go job hunting and try to find either another part time
job or a full time one to replace my computer one. I
absolutely LOVE working at the TARC but it sucks ass that
it's only part-time and now there's the whole deal with the
contract possibly not being renewed. I can live comfortably
on the hours I'm getting now but the feeling that I could
be fired/cut anyday doesn't sit too well with me. At least
at GC Services it was full time and you knew where you
stood. The pay sucked and the job sucked but I knew they
weren't going to just let me go at any minute. But I'm not
going to worry too much about it. It'd be smart of me to
find another job now just in case. I'll probably look for a
part-time, morning one. I don't know. It's late and my
brain is slowing down.

I finally got season 2 of Sex and the City on dvd! I can
watch episodes of that and Simpsons over and over and over
again. I just love 'em! I was going to get Queer As Folk on
dvd but that fucking thing is $80.00-$100.00! I can wait.
The new season will hold me over for now. I tried the free
trial at and it's pretty cool. No late fees and
what not. I rented Murder by Numbers with Sandra Bullock
and it's stupid...maybe it gets better toward the end but
the first 40mins or so is just boring as hell. I watched
one the greatest movies of all time again though, Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon! Boy! Those woman can kick some ass!
If I could do that shit, look out! You piss me off I'll be
flying off walls and shit just whipping your ass! I watched
A Beautiful Mind today too and of course I cried and cried.
Russel Crowe should've gotten the oscar for that one, he was

You know what I'm really really interested in doing
sometime in the near future? Aikido. I've been reading on
it and it seems really interesting and I really want to do
a martial art. At least try it. Maybe I won't like it but
at least it'll get me out of the house and I can become a
fine tuned fighting machine. I don't know, we'll see. I
wanted to learn how to play piano and violin too and that
hasn't happened yet either.

Mom and Kent are having problems....again. I came back home today and
she basically gave me an earful on how she's sick of him being so
selfish and how he doesn't ever do anything for her. She said when
she goes to Michigan on 03/19 she's going to look for jobs. I think
she's tired of him being so damn boring too. He's a 38yr old man who
acts like he's 80yrs. She wants to go out and do this and do that but
he just likes to stay home....all the time. I don't know, I wonder
what goes through his head. Does he honestly think that's what'll
keep somebody? I kind of get disgusted with Kent sometimes because he
doesn't really seem to care about anything really. But then again
he's just different and not everybody has to go out and do stuff.
They're just not right for each other. I'll be very surprised if
they're still together in 2004. Who knows what'll happen. I think
a "perfect" relationship is when you think about your partner as if
the two of you are one. There's no I or me it's just we. You'd give
anything for the other and you'd never want to see them hurt. Maybe
that's just too idealistic. I feel bad for my mom though because she
does deserve someone who'll sweep her off her feet and give her
everything she deserves. Unfortunately that guy isn't Kent.

Okay I'm extremely tired and have stuff to do tomorrow so
I'll see ya when I see ya. Later.

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