BMLBoss429

My Thoughts
2003-03-08 06:12:25 (UTC)

What can I do?

IMPORTANT! THIS IS NOT A SAPPY JOURNAL TO LET PEOPLE KNOW
HOW SORRY MY LIFE IS! I HATE THOSE DAMN JOURNALS! MINE
WILL BE ABOUT ME, DAMNIT!

This being my first entry, to those that care, I will get
you up to speed for the year 2003....... screw that... I
got fired from a great job on January 24, and i'm not back
on my feet yet. Nothing I have tried has worked, and it's
really starting to get to me. I mean, is finding a job
really this difficult?
I write alot when I think, and they come out in song form.
So from time to time, I will post lyrics I have written...
some painful, some comical, some heartfelt, but all my own.

I've started to write something I entitled "I Hate", which
is everything that I vision that is wrong with me, and shit
that I question..... I don't know why, but people do
strange things, that's what makes us unique. So, here
goes...

--- I Hate ---
All the things, that i've done,
have finally caught up to me.
The mistakes, that i've made,
too dark for me to see.
Why all of, the wrong things,
have decided to come out now.
I cry and, wonder when?
I wonder why and how?

I Hate
Myself
for everything i've done.
I Hate
Myself
for what... i've become.
I Hate
My Eyes
for what I see through them.
I Hate
My Eyes
I never want to see again.

Why all of, this pain,
do I have to feel?
Why can't, my dreams,
ever become to be so real?
My light, has gone dim,
I can't believe what I see.
So unreal, so unclear,
this is my reality.

Can't I make this go away,
cant I live to see another day.
I want to shed the skin, and start again.
I want to become, to myself, a better friend.




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