mystsofgrey

lost in the myst
2003-03-08 05:13:29 (UTC)

you desierve all the pain

so i have been waiting for some sign of something lately. a
phone call, and e-mail something. of course i get nothing.
this is why i believe you are full of shit. basically, you
think i am not important and you show it. one thing after
another. its snowballing down ward. i am waiting for you to
show some sign of friendship, but i keep forgeting how self
absorbed you are. anything that benifits you works. anyone
who is not me works. i am so tired of caring, but that is
beging to become nothing. just like all my other feelings
for you. you have a way of getting under my skin and you
are good at it. i am sick of this. i am sick of wondering
if you care or not. just admit that you dont want me around
and stop stringing me along. yes you are my rachyl, thing
is i believe it is worse. you play these little games in
the hope that i dont catch on. well i am brighter then you
think. i am above standard where you are concierned. i am
writing all this, because i will tell you about it and you
will read it all. its not that i dont want to tell you
myself, but why waste money? i have come to see you like
control. if you have control of me you are happy. it was
that way for a long time. well i hope you get what you
desierve. so far karma has been good to me. after all you
are suffering and it wont be over any time soon. i believe
that is good, because i have suffered long enough from you.
i dont believe you, or in you. i hate how you think all
your actions are ok. you are an evil, asshole, pig! i cant
stand you. or anything you have ever given me. its all
gone. dont worry about your stuff. i will take good care of
it. after all you owe me, for the things of mine you ruined
or sold for drugs. just because you are like that. when i
move the towels will come in handy. the clothes, well i
know a few people who would love to have them, but they
will probably be burned. i dont want anyone to be jinxed by
wearing your shit. god i need to be free and i am on my
way. i will be happy the day i dont think about you any
more. the day when all this is far behind me. that day is
coming. thanks for pushing me so far away. from this view i
can see how truly fucked up you have been to me. oh well,
you are in the midst of feeling what i have. over
everything and everyone. i am just siting here laughing
because you desierve every second of pain!




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