Barely Hanging On, About to Let Go
2003-03-08 03:32:49 (UTC)

Kind of better today

Yesterday i got this reply to my entry and well...i never
really thought that anything that small could have that
much of an impact on someone, including me. It made me feel
so much better. god im so happy im not alone.
heh. i feel kind of stupid, i dont even know who this
person is! geez, im such a retard.
today things went a little better, until i came home from
afterschool. school sometimes isnt even as bad as home.
My dad seems to be the only one who can understand me. He
grew up here and he knows what goes on. Sometimes he even
tries to make an effort to help me to have A LIFE.
But then theres my mom who totally breaks down everything
my dad tries to build up for me. You know that one person
in your life who you wouldnt mind if they got wiped off the
face of the Earth? Well, shes mine.
I know thats a HORRIBLE thing to say about your mother but
its true. She never really made an attempt to understand
me. Her life revolves around my little sister and my dad.
and i dont even mind, i mean, its not like shes this HUGE
IMPORTANT person. she works a small 9 to 5 and her
personality is just -sigh- negative. she gives me so much
anger. sometimes though, i can put that anger into
words..and i write poetry. haha the only problem is i dont
want to put them online cuz then some stupid person will
steal them and them I WILL HAVE TO KILL THEM . lol. but
no...these poems are my own. if..well i think his name was
Matt wants to see them. he can. haha. ok? so RANDOM GUY!
get in touch. lol. i added u onto my AIM thing cuz i have
it too but ur not on and i have nothing to do and i REALLY
want to talk to u. so u better read this or..else.
I'm a REALLY sarcastic person. i think its safe to say that
about myself. haha. so dont think im really gonna kill ppl
and do things like that, no, its just me being stupid.
people change too much. last year, in middle school ALL my
friends did track and running. but this year, now that its
track season i see NO ONE. no one has interest anymore. i
think its stupid. i think its retarded. it makes me sooo
mad. i just want to bite something. y do ppl have to
totally ruin their lives for things that wont even benefit
them?!?! If u quit Track cuz of a job, ok. if u quit cuz of
ur health,ok. but if u quit so u can become a pothead?!?!
thats FUCKED UP.
-sigh- i have to go. pizza.mmmm...my escape from this world
who wants to eat me.