OrganizedConfusion

Conversation Peace
2003-03-08 03:13:00 (UTC)

Just.. Stuff to say...

Dear Journal,
I am incredably bored right now. I drew some things. I
am going to try and do more art for a while. I colored a
little sketch I did but I have yet to scan it. All my
adoring fans will just have to wait. As if any of the
people that actually veiw my art read this.
Well I had a little breakdown. I don't know if I
posted about it or not. I don't care. I think I did
actually, while it was happening. I would do as amanda said
(no comments) except there is only so much you can tell
someone in confidence before silences are broken and people
are in trouble. This world is so cruel. I have come to this
realization. If it weren't for my ties, I would rather not
be here, except I have too much to live for. Why is god so
freaking cruel? To make us stronger? I admit my life has
made me into somewhat of a stronger person however, I break
down as well.
I feel like writing. A book, a comic, something.
Something to let out myself and all these problems around
me through the characters. I would be a great writer if I
had the patience to write. I would be a great artist if I
could channel the right outlet to release all my artistic
ideas. I think I come closer each and every day.
I suppose last night served as somewhat of a better
experience. I felt better about myself, for once. I'm sure
this feeling will be short lived but it is nice while it
lasts.
I miss Mike already. How sad is that. He is in trouble
from conferences. Stupid bad grades. Stupid strict parents.
I doubt my parents would be like that if I got some bad
grades. I mean they would be upset and drill me to do
better, however I'd be able to do stuff, and talk on the
phone as long as my homework was done. Although who knows.
I've gotten a D once in my life for a class and that was
with a teacher I despised that hated me as well. I can
reflect on those joyus days of class where she would keep
me and half the class after the bell to yell at ME and then
let us all go. I laughed at her like every day, and it
angered her so much. I suppose it was rude to sit through
class laughing everytime her large self bent over, thus
making everyone else laugh, however, I didn't care. She
stuck me with slow people. She yelled when we worked too
slow, and she yelled when I went to fast for my partner to
understand. That quarter I got a D. Heaven forbid a D. She
yelled at me in front of friends in the cafeteria. She was
interesting. Anyway.. My parents didn't really care all too
much. They didn't like her either.
AAHH I am distracted. I must depart. Good-bye..
-- Allie --




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