Remember to Breathe
2003-03-07 10:39:40 (UTC)

five alive

Well, tonight went well, in a way. I went to Smith Hall
once again, as usual. Because it was Thursday and I have
no class on Fridays, I decided it was a party night. We
ended up playing drinking games in Brett's room. And even
though I kissed him, it didn't seem to matter because it
was all part of the game. Seems funny how a kiss like
that could mean two totally different things to two
people. What am I to do though? His "no masturbation"
bet is going on 40 days now, as of midnight. I want to be
the one to bring him back into the swing of things. haha..
who am I kidding? I am just a piece of the scenery in the
big party of life to him. But still, for some odd reason,
I keep my hopes up. Tonight I will be heading over there
again for our theme party. "Mardi gras" should be fun. I
just want something to happen. I want him to quit being
so laid back about this shit, and just want me. I wonder
if he thinks about me when I'm not there.

"Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
Pretty sure that few would notice."
-Dashboard Confessional
"Saints and Sailors"