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2003-03-06 21:29:40 (UTC)

for now i'll just push my feelings aside...

nothing very new... bet you didn't expect that.. it's ok.
school sucks, home sucks, sleep sucks... life sucks. i'm
always so bored. today i realized i zoned out in almost
every class for like 10 min. periods, just stare until
you strat halucinating.. it's fucking awesome.

band concert tom. night so that should be okay... but that
means nothing fun on a friday night so that sucks. i'm
supposed to get my lisence next week so then everyday will
be fun.

as far as the grilfriend/friends situations are going... i
broke up with my gf a couple weeks ago. we're just
starting to talk again so that's ok. friends... well
they're pretty okay. like nothing bad but i realize how
much people dont pay attention to me. but it's kinda nice
cus i dont like people staring at me... but i'm sure
anyone reading this knows at one point you wished someone
or a group of people were looking at you just cus it feels
good to be acknowledged. oh well.

for the past week i've jsut sat at home alone doing
nothing. it's pretty sad... i mean i'm pathetic i go to
school and complain how bored i am and then i come home
and sit around accomplishing nothing. as far as school
goes. today i took like the hardest math test i've ever
taken. halfway through i realized i was unsure about the
whole test and thought i might of gotten all teh equations
mixed up... it was very stressful...

in enlish today we had a sub and we talked about how
business CEOs run the country and are the most powerful.
blah blah blah and a lot of people, including the sub, had
been laid off from really good jobs. so he asked us who
really felt that it was wrong and it made the mad and all
that stuff... and everyone raised their hand...kinda like
halfway. then he asked if anyone didn't care at all and i
proudly raised my hand high into the air. of course he
asked for an explanation so here goes. "it doesn't effect
me at teh moment no one is going to take away the shitty
teenager jobs that i'm looking for, and i dont personally
know anyone that this happened to so i dont care." then
this girl, who i happen to dislike a lot, said what about
all those people getting laid off. and i responded "i dont
know them and i dont care about them.." substitute then
asked what about him. i said i dont personally know so i
dont care. i could tell a few people in teh room were
like... you know what he's right it doesn't affect me but
it's still wrong and others were like i hate him. i'm
glad, it sucks when you have no one to argue with... that
was teh highlight of my day, i'm a loser so get over it...

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