Apryl

A Precious Lesbian Girl???
2003-03-05 18:25:40 (UTC)

yep...I dont know anymore.

I have no idea what Im suppose to think or feel
anymore...so I think Im just trying not to. I was sitting
in like all 3 of my classes today and I'd be there one
minute and the next I was like almost in tears, and then I
was just all together pissed. Katrina doesnt even know what
to say to me anymore which I mean I cant blame her cause
well I totally freaked out and went off in ways I should'nt
have. She said she thinks I'm just scared now that she'd
give up on us or me or stop talking to me or something. I'm
not really. I'm not afraid of anything right now...my worst
fear was losing her and well that one already happend soo
what else could go wrong right? Oh and she thinks I ment
everything I said in the emails that I went off in and I
prolly didnt but I haven't read them so whatever if she
really thinks that then whoops, cant take it back now
right. So anyways, After many walks around the school
durring lunch with Laura, Maey, and Bea I realized that yea
Im pissed that she kissed someone else and yea it broke my
heart but its nothing I cant take...im a big girl and Im
not too horrible at this whole by myself thing so if this
is what she wants to do which, I dont even know cause she
hasnt told me what she wants, but if she wants to be with
that girl (yea I know her name but I will never call her by
it cause that would mean I like her and sadly I dont.) then
I'll be alright with that....I think I need to just like
let her do what she wants while shes out there and if we're
stil in love and both of us happen to be single when she
gets back then we'll see what happens right. I'm young very
so I'm nto getting married anyways....cause that would mean
things last forever and they dont. soo I dont know if any
of this makes sense but if it does then its suprising cause
nothing in my head does...I'm going to talk to Greg and
Eric though...bye
~Apryl




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