xdisarmcalinx

may.be.ill.catch.fire
2003-03-05 14:04:58 (UTC)

+say you dont love me...and i'll walk away+


listening.2. the raindeer section = you are my joy

on sunday i had it set in my mind that i was definatly
going to talk things out with rhys on wednesday, i was
going to ask him out..blah blah.and i couldn't wait for the
day to come round..

then on tuesday ryan and i had a whole day planed..goto
skool for a bit then ditch skool and go to the good
charlotte instore etc etc..which we did all that then we
hung out in the city for a bit and i got to meet all ryans
friends.then we went to chapel st then to the cinema where
ryans brother works.coz we were going to see jackass again.
he couldn't get us in for free and i had no cash so me and
amy ditched the guys and went home. during that whole day
ryan and i were flirting ans became real close with out
getting close..i so have a crush on him now..hehe
while i was on the bus home my head was clouded with heaps
of stuff ie: should i ask rhys out?, do i like ryan? blah
blah .it's stupid coz i know i love rhys with everything
but i know ryan would treat me better and i'd have more fun.

so today i skipped uni again *naughty* and went to see rhys
at work. and i stupidly asked him weather he would go out
with me for real, and..... he didn't say no but he didn't
say yes :'( he say..he didn't say no coz he does like me
but he didn't say yes cause he is leaving in about a month
and he didn't want to get attached coz it would be unfair
to both of us. which i know makes sense.but it's not fair
i was so heart broken anyway..and he tried to make it
better but it so didn't work...he rejected me no matter
what he says :(
and i found out before that joel wants to ask me out..so
i'm like why is it u never get the boy u want and the ones
u dont wnat u :( :( :(
why can't rhys and i have a fling thingy, coz it's better
to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all.

i dont know, i knew he was going to say no.but in his sms's
the other nights he was practicly asking me out (in a
cryiptic boy way) .....i feel so lost and confused and ugly
and unloved.... rhys is such a bum :P

listening.2. weezer = getchoo




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