ruthemily

all the goodbyes and the talk..

all the goodbyes and the talk of leaving is draining the
life out of me, i feel like what little connection i still
have with where i am has finally been slashed.

though it's weird, because at the same time i do feel ok
with it, because it feels like i left a long time ago...i
feel like i've been floating around for a while, i have no
place here, i haven't done for a long time...and now i am
going somewhere where i can *be*. it's like i am getting
on that plane to come alive again. i can't live here, i
can't be alive because they won't let me. i can't smile
because i get hurt for it, i can't laugh because it makes
too much noise, i can't have an opinion because quite
simply they don't think i deserve one...i can't be a human
being here.

i'm just scum, in england i am scum.

but i am worth something yeh? i can be someone, can't i? i
can be loved, in australia i will be loved. in australia i
will find myself.

chica, i love you x