RubberDucky

Blonde Speaks Up
2003-03-05 05:14:01 (UTC)

I am also a selfish person

Wow...this has definately not been a good time for me. I
keep focusing on all that is bad in me, but that is all I
see. Crap on my life...I'm sick of everything. I'm sick
of the drama and I'm sick of the way I feel about
everything that happens to me. Not that anything bad
happens to me in any regard, but just the way I feel in
general about everything. I have wished so many times
that I could be numb to my surroundings and I look up one
day to find that I am and that is what's making me feel
shitty. The fact that I have been so trusting of people
yet that trust is fake because I never truly open up to
them, or when I do, I lie to them and myself. That's not
me. Even so, I trust people too easily, and in return I get
bitten in the ass for it.
Tonight, after talking with a friend for a long time, I
went up to my room tried to sleep and found myself just
crying and for no reason at all...or at least none that I
could think of. I over analyze too much and because I
spend all of this time being sad and thinking about all
the stuff that I have missed out on and that I will be
missing out on I am missing out on what is happening now.




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