Jake

Welcome to my mind.
2003-03-05 03:19:03 (UTC)

March 4, 2003

Today was rater interesting and boring. I got stuck
afterschool, which was at 9:00 tonight with my band
instructor waiting to get picked up. Rather
interesting......

Jazz went fine, I got sent in to get a CD from Mr.
Stauffer's desk, his room was locked so I had to get a key.
Jazz band mocked how I spoke and sort of croaked out how the
door was locked.

So now its 10:07 and I don't feel like reading the damn
biology crap. I don't give a shit what a plant makes its
food from, I really don't. Doesn't interest me. Doesn't
bother me. Science sucks.

Past few days people are beginning to find that I have a
voice. Well good for you. Shame I do. Poeple only annoy me.
They make me think, ponder, and contemplate my faults and
failings. Its never someone elses fault for anything that
goes wrong around them, its others. Then its shifted on me.
Like I give a shit anymore. I don't want to talk anymore,
all it does is get me in trouble. I always end up stuttering
or saying something stupid. Maybe I should bash my head into
the wall and try to knock out the part of my brain with the
speach control...........No one gives a shit anyway. Not
like I influence anyone. Always a background dweller. I
don't have the confidence to do anything else. I was ruined,
my self confidence shot, and most likely will never recover.

I think I am a person that is kept in reserve. If somethings
goes FUBAR I am there to bail them out or support. Then
after that I am discarded. Happens all the time. Can't wait
till I wise up, stop talking, and just turn into a little
hermit. I will never be happy after that, but hey, when has
that ever been the case.

I truthfully have no idea what happiness is. No one can
tell me. There is no reason for me to be happy, or that sad
either though. Things can be worse, but really can they be
any better. Nope. Not lucky enough. I believe happiness is
just a myth to keep me in line and from completely flipping
out.

Well besides that, today I accidently threw a guy's game
cube on the floor, and it bounced. I found a strange coat
rack that looked like a medieval siege weapon. I got caught
trying to wedge a door open with a folding chair. I think I
have fart inhilation sickness. Other than that I don't think
my da y was any different.

The part in the middle sounds like I said that before
another time. If I repeat it so it must be true and I am
just too damn gullible to stop.

Screw it all.




Ad: