The Diary of Me
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2003-03-04 20:39:10 (UTC)

What was the point?

I can't believe it! Krissie came round just after i'd
finished writing the letter for her and she brought Angela,
well we had loadsa fun making pancakes (and having a
pancake fight) and then when it got to tidying up...they
left me. Well, Angela hoovered up and mopped up and did
other stuff and from what i remember krissie...put a couple
of plates next to the dishwasher...oh yea and...oh never
mind thats it! well, ive been so stressed out and upset
recently and i can't believe they just left me like that.
i mean im not realy too angry at angela bc she did do quite
a bit but then l8r she got fed up and sat down at the
computer with krissie and they started downloadin songs and
singing while i was tidying up. they knew i was stressed
out bc mum came home and was pretty angry bc the kitchen
was covered in flour(i understumble bc she had spent the
holidays tidying it up, but she did get me even more
stressed) so i went in the garage to sit down and just try
2 calm down and i was in there for ages and you wud hav
thought they would hav cum in to see if i was alright...but
they didn't. i int too bothered bout that but ive been so
down l8ly and friends dont just leave you onn your own and
start having fun. dus anyone think im being unreasonable
here??? If ya do email me and tell me bc i really dont
think i am...well im covered in flour my, so is my uniform
but i int making a big deal outta it i shud hav a shower
but i cant be bothered, my hair looks ok so...stuff it. I
hate not being able to hav friends who actually care about
me, its horrible and i mean you might be thinking i have
friends and im just being fussy, but whats a friend that
doesn't care for you. if you askd me to name all my
friends that i think care about me this is the list:
i know one is better than none, but not even Jennie's
always there for me...i hate being depressed and when the
cause of it is friends then it hurts even more...well, now
im just too fed up so im gonna push it to the back of my
mind, as i do with everything, and then wait until i blow
agen next time, get all depressed blah blah get over it and
then...nothing for me ever gets solved in my head. I've
got things on my mind from ages ago. i have a REALLY
guilty conscience i mean Really, even over little things.
Well, wen b4 i wrote that krissie leaves me out sumtimes,
she did it agen 2day. whenever its me krissie and 1 other
person, she leaves me out. that makes me feel so bad about
my self tho, i mean its like, i feel as though im second
choice and if she cud shed choose her other m8s over me,
that feels so horrible. This isn't making any sense at all,
but its good to let it all out...I'm feelin pretty
friendless at the mo...
well, some person sent me a msg to this diary sayin ur work
is really inspiring! Wow, that made me feel okay, thanx
whoever you are!!!Well, mumll b home in a second, so
byeeeeeee...plz rite to me...anyone...advice? or what you
think of my diary...
ps saying everythin i sed for krissie in that lettr, the nice stuff i
sed and stuff i wanted to tell her, i feel now as tho it was a waste
of time bc, how can you feel sorry and want to help some one feel
better, wen they've just made you feel like crap...