Chapter One: The Evil Within
2003-03-04 03:50:57 (UTC)

Where will we be in 20 years?

In twenty years I have no clue where I will be, but I
know that all my friends will be great. Emily is in
college, and she, to the last of my knowledge, knows what
she wants to do with her life, Dez has a great job with
little to no possibility of losing it, and she loves it,
and seems very happy in it, Matt, well god, I always knew
that Matt would be great, he has so much inside him, and he
is the one that I believe most in, and I look up to him in
so many ways, he is so strong. Alot of the people I know
care and care about are going to be great. Now where the
hell am I going?

There are so many things I have the potencial to do, and
that I would love to do... but how do I go about doing so?
How do I pick out the ones that I could truely suceed in?
And will I be able to keep my interest in them? I dunno...

So... my friends and I.. in twenty years... I am not sure
if I will even be in the picture... I am not sure if I am
even in th picture now. I am so confussed aobut that. I
dont feel like I belong with any of them, with the
exception of Matt... honestly, the only place I feel like I
belong is when I am in Matts arms.. but I cant be there all
the time so I am just... here.

I have a Doctors appointment on the twentieth of march
to see why I am still having chest pains. Knowing my luck,
that day I wont have them... thats how it always seems to
work out for me. Then they ask me if this and thathurt, and
I have to tell them no, when normally it would hurt like

Yeah, there was a whole lot of stuff I wanted to say,
and now it seems to be escaping me.... so.. till later,