Thoughts from Blue Angel
2003-03-03 05:43:15 (UTC)

The Year of Snow

One of the fondest memories I have of Tyler from our
freshman year was the first January night we spent
together, cuddling. It snowed that night. So much, in
fact, that he decided to spend the night instead of driving
home. Ever since, snow has reminded me of that night and,
moreso, how wonderful he is.

This year, it seems as though it hasn't stopped snowing. I
think the county has seen a new record for the number of
snows in one year. It's as if the snow is an indicator of
our relationship.

Perhaps it is foolish for me to say so, but everything
tells me that he's the one. He's not just a boyfriend; nor
is he just a typical best friend. He's the guy I used to
dream about when I was very young who would understand what
I was feeling just by the tone of my voice or the look in
my eyes. I talk to him with as much ease as when I think,
with nearly as little reservation. And yes, as unromantic
as it is, he is the only person outside of my immediate
family in front of whom I will pass gas.

The more the thought enters my mind, the more I realize
that we have the type of relationship that could last
forever. The heart-racing, butterfly-inducing feelings are
present, but at the same time, my feelings for him are so
deep and unwavering, so that even on the days when I don't
necessarily have butterflies for him, I know that I care
about him more than anything.

I would love nothing more than to share the rest of my life
with him. Waking up next to him every morning is something
I can definitely imagine, and not just in unrealistic
fantasies. We share many of the same philosophies and
values, and we have similar goals for our lives. Marrying
him would be so exciting and so practical at the same time.

We often dance around the subject, talking about our hopes
for the future. It's always "my house" or "my kids,"
never "our," but occassionally, there is a mention of "our
possible future." Not too long ago, he told me of a dream
he had in which I was pregnant. We apparently were happy
about the baby, and were making plans. He explained that
the dream made him feel very close to me because he
interpreted it as a representation of his feelings for me
and the very real possibility that I'm the one. Needless
to say, I smiled for the rest of the night.

I am so in love.