manic obsession

gin and platonic
2003-03-02 21:28:57 (UTC)

foolish girls for winter nights

and what i wanted, was something i never was to have

and so what now? that you hate me?
and wish i had never met you.
and nothing i could say could change what you came to
understood about the truth inside this.
this box filled with red and black and pulsing
heart that wont ever stop, stupidly.
i wish it had.

i wish i had never seen myself in you. and i wonder to
myself if i was just another
pointless winter night.
with nothing better to do.

was it love i had? or just loneliness so strong i was
bitter? i still am bitter. i think it was empathy. i
didnt want anyone to hurt like i did, it hurt so bad.
in cars.
in beds.
it hurt and i wanted it all to stop,
i wanted my life to stop.

and i close my eyes, look at that diamond sky, much more
beautiful than i or this life, and cry. it's tears in a
solitare, wrapped in a sweet girl who never said no.




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