d_a_y_z_15

"Day-z H"
2003-03-02 19:22:10 (UTC)

"5 Poems I wrote" March 2nd, 2003

Despite all of my insecurities, you made me feel so
safe...I could not explain the familiar feeling I got, just
by looking at your face....But why did you feel that you
could not trust me the same?...As if I was purposely out to
cause you some great deal of pain....I had felt as if I’d
known you for years, in only days...For once I had stopped
running, just to feel so pushed away....So tell me why
should I keep striving for something that no one can
tame?... For love never comes easy, but it can easily cause
you pain...

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sometimes i look back on who i was before....when people
are little they really seem to soar....and i wonder if we
are meant to end up alone....because no matter what you
still long for the unknown....and everyone keeps seachering
for solutions....to their problems when they won't stick to
their own resolutions.....seems as though we always want
something better....that we can always see the clouds
during sunny weather....maybe if we could only realize it's
all okay in the end...the things that aren't broke we won't
try to mend....and the past that we have can't be
undone...and we will not be afraid to let other see what
we've become....or maybe we are worried it will be to late
to change....we're just to scared to do it because it is
all so strange.....no matter what really happens, in the
end we all end up the same....and the only thing that keeps
us going is how well we can easy our pain

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Tonight I find myself questioning my own life for a change…
I thought I had it all worked out, but there are still some
things left to be rearranged…I was finally sure all my
feelings and emotions were secure…but the more I think of
it all, now I’m not so sure…I’ve come to realize my
feelings I do not often know how to express…And all this
self-doubt I thought was gone, still leaves me in a mess…
Guess I’m not as strong of a person as I thought I had
finally became…Looking at who I am now and who I was,
inside I’m still the same…So it’s time that I try and fight
my own self once again…This time I’m not giving up until
I’m happy with the person within…All I’ve done before was
build-up this fake disguise from myself…And all the time my
frightened side shined through, I pretended I didn’t need
help…So the only way I can solve this, to be satisfied
inside…Is to always speak what I’m thinking, so my feelings
I don’t hide…I cannot be shy anymore, for it’s only based
on fear…I want the world to see the real me, so I’m able to
let people near…Who cares if they don’t like me if I cannot
like myself…As of now I’m putting my self-doubt and shyness
back on their shelf…If I do not hide behind them or fear of
them, I can be me…So adios to my fake disguise, it’s time
the real me, this world gets to see……

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sorry baby i'm not wrapped around anyone's finger and i
never want to be....if you think i am i just wanted to give
you a wakeup call you so clearly need.....i've worked so
hard on my own feelings so on others i don't ever have to
depend....so here is my two cents worth of thought, maybe
some time apart we need to spend....just because i don't
want to loose you, doesn't mean you have me on some kind of
chain....i am strong enough to stand without you, even if
it would cause me some pain.....there is nothing that i
can't handle that you can through my way.....so don't treat
me like a child, because i can stand on my own and be
okay.....this doesn't mean i am leaving, just that i have
come to expect your respect....but if you're going to
change things and think i am going to stay, you're love
i'll reject....you don't give someone something ,and take
it out from under them, out of the blue....then say that
they are all your's, they will want so much their indepence
to prove...so baby stop treating me as if i am a child and
things between us will be okay...and don't tell me i am
wrapped around your finger, or i 'll simply walk away.....

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Saying that you love me when you’re upset or mad...It’s something
that you don’t do, and that I understand....But when you hear it from
me, I wonder what you feel...When I say it then, do you believe me
that it’s real....For when I tell you that, it’s not because I think
it’s what you want to hear...I only want you to know my heart is
still sincere....For when cold words are spoken and when I cause you
pain....To show you that I still care, I love you is what I say....I
don’t want you to feel as if I am taking my back my heart....And I
don’t want you to think that I want to be apart....And even when we
argue, inside for you I still care.....So when I say I love you, it’s
because I want you to know that love’s still there