Cold chillin

Bernie Calderon
2003-03-02 17:58:51 (UTC)

Welcome 2 Manila

Mood: awake
song of the moment: I will remember you by Sarah Maclachan
Nothing seems to be going right at the moment. i won't get
scholarships; that i expect. it was a long shot anyways
since a) I am a pretty smart guy, but appaerntly not in the
upper echelon of those who do get scholarships and ; b) i'm
competing with every single academic in America c) my
family can dont qualify for fiancial aid yet we cant afford
college. my interests are a complete joke. fellow academics
think it's a complete joke. i try to couch my interests in
terms that imply that it's more than it is, when it isn't
anything at all. it's an obsession that has no
qualitatively value in academia. so why am I pursuing it?
exactly, that's what I've been asking myself. I'm feeling
really lost right now. because if i don't want to continue
what i'm doing, i've invested my time in all the wrong
things and i've wasted 2 years of my life doing nothing
when I could have beein doing something. i don't know what
to do because i just don't.