Dr Cats

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2003-03-02 11:07:32 (UTC)

Weekend with my friend

Didn't write yesterday.. but will tell all now. I speant
most of this weekend with Kaelah... sometimes me and her
spend too much time together I think... but I don't care..
Kaealah is an excellent and incredibly understanding Human
being... "Kaelah! You are Beautiful". I had a pretty decent
time at work on Saturday.. after that I went to Youth..
youth was alright... Then I went over Kaelah's house for
the night.. we talked and hung out and drunk a little bit..
good times! We both slept in and missed church this
morning.. I slept in Jewels's bed... It's very comfy and
you can wake up and look at all the photo's. Very cool. WE
hung out for a bit thinking "Gab wanted us to hang out with
her at church... that's gonna cut her." But she rang us a
little bit later and told us that she wasn't going to
church either and that we should come over her house for
the day. So we waited for Richo to get back home and got
him to drive us there. Richard (Kaelah's dad)is such a cool
and wacky guy. Gab's house was very quiet.. her mum was
sleeping so we just sat and watched the telly.. later we
went to go on a bush walk but ended up picking up garbage
to keep in the sprirt of "clean up Australia day", haha! we
had out own little clean up.. it was cool. Hmm well yeah
then tonight I went to church and now I'm here... But
there's something on my mind... and it's making me feel
sad.. and yes it has to do with Gab. Sometimes I just think
that she hates me. I mean sometimes I just feel like she's
got the most bitter resentment of me. It's like everything
I say.. she'll argue it or take offence or defence to it..
She always tels me "you always have to be right". That's
bullshit. It cuts me up becasue I do nothing else but try
and have a conversation with her and get aong with her..
and I really want to because I absolutely adore her and am
completely in love with her... but she'll just turn it into
something bad.. like pull something that offends her out of
everything I say and just drill me. Like today there was
this whole thing with Mandy and I asked Mandy something and
she didn't even tell me that it wasn't secret.. and it
didn't seem obvious that it was.. but Gab just got tottally
pissed off at me.. she's like "you always screw up
everything".. I mean she doesn't say that but that's what
comes accross.. and the reason why I could tell that she
only got cut at me becasue it was me and not what i said
was because Kaelah said the exact same thing to Mandy and
Gab didn't even notice or at least didn't even react. those
kind of things make me think that she just sees me as the
biggest idiot. It's like she wants there to be nothing
between us so she makes me out to herself to be this
arrogant prick who just tries to make her feel shit. But
I've never once tried to make her feel bad. I mean I would
never intentionally hurt her. I could never do that. But
sometimes I think that she wants to block me out. Wants to
forget what we had together. And that drives me insane
because I don't know why she feels like it should be that
way. It's hell! We could be so happy... like I mean she'll
take everything I say and twist it into offemce and she'll
just walk away.. like she wants me to feel bad... I hate
this! THE END