My Everyday Thoughts
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2003-03-01 22:13:11 (UTC)

Boys, can't live with em' can't live without em'

March 1,2003

So boys. Sometimes they create the hardest pain to get
over. The hardest times can be when you give your heart
away and cry as you pick up the pieces when they break it.
They also can create the biggest smiles when they say
exactly the right things or just hold you so perfectly as
you watch the world pass you by. Phone calls from your
special someones aren't just phone calls, but happiness
and love all rolled up into his voice that is apparent
at "hello". I will never understand how simple the human
heart is, or how easy it is to mend open wounds of pain
with just a sorry. Phil will never know how much I care
about him. I can't comprehend how much he means to me. I
deny it over and over again to protect myself from not
getting love back from him but I do love and care for him. I
skip over all of his shortcomings and our difficulties
just to be near to him. He will always keep me guessing
whether he wants to be in my life or not, but he will
never have to guess if I want to be apart of his, because
I always will. I will always get butterflies in my stomach
when I hang up the phone and just, have that feeling of
wonderful, just from talking to him. I will always cry
when I find old notes from him, knowing that he's gone
again. I will always wonder about what he is doing, who he
is with, how is his life, is it better without me. These
questions will always flood my mind. I need a pill I could
take when I missed him so I wouldn't call and make a fool
out of myself. I need some medicine to drink when the pain
from missing him gets so bad. I need him.


If we were walking through a crowd
would you know I'd be proud
if you call my name out loud
do you suppose I would come running
do you suppose I'd come at all
I supposed I would.

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