Tears in my eyes
Im sitting here at my work with tears in my eyes, trying my
best not to cry.
S* is online, in our chat room, but I`ve guess he`s just
looged on, and not actually there, he`s probobly sleeping.
I want to talk to him so bad, I miss him so much, and it
feels so bad, like its wrong since I`ve got Tommy now.
But what me and S* had, and what me and Tommy have can not
And I have no one to talk to, cause the only one who really
knew everything about it is Samuel, and he`s dead. Cessy
knew a thing or two, but I dont want to share this with her.
It feels like forever since last me and S* talked, and I
just realised that it was in Desember, but it feel like its
I once cliked on hin to say hello and the chat, some weeks
ago, but I didnt get any respond, thats why Im waiting for
him to make the first move.
Everything is such a mess, normaly I would just say, its
okey girl, do you`re job and go home and talk to Samuel,
but he wont be there. Its not like he always found the
answer for me, he made me find my own answers, but it was
good to have somone to talk to, get some support.
I think I need to see S*, next time he`s home,I believe
that will be around easter. I probobly go to see him, stay
far away from his house and watch him go inside, or go the
the clubs he goes to. I dont think I can go and talk to
him, just see him would be enugh.
... and I know its not smart..
This weekend Im going to stay at Tomy`s place, I wonder how
that will be, Im not in a verry happy mood for the moment.
Samuel: I miss you
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