Jack's Twisted Kingdom
Mind Game V...
i've thought about it
it's all about truth, but no one wants it,
no one really believes in it anymore
If i come out and say it, it's truth, to a certain point
But if I don't say it, then someone, somewhere acuses me
because concealment is just as bad
If i choose not tell you something, then guess what,
the one whom to which I feel a need to be honest, or
or, i simply don't care
Apathy and Despair
Depressio and Melancholy
raw sexual power
mm, a truly rank amount of polutant thoughts have rummaged
through the murky swamp that is indicitive of my mind
the proverb, seek and ye shall find, seems to bang against
walls residing within
the trouble with people who don't care is, that you simply
have any leverage with them. you can't force someone to do
what you want when it doesn't matter to them
i mean, you can't even co-erce someone, manipulate them or
otherwise engender some aspect of your will upon them
so, what it the answer?
i have of late been reading about the Caesars, it's
something of a
facinating jag down the ramparts so to speak
heh, i wonder, what shall become of it all?
If on the other hand i tell you everything, if i spew
such open and virile spontanaity then i should like to
such that i can say it
either i'm in love with you, i lust you, i want you, i
i need you, i desire you, and or you're female
i simply have no use for anyone else, sound harsh? try
with my thoughts day after day?
i make a damned sight sure, that i don't USE people, that
try to manipulate those that i consider friends,
really, it's very easy not to do that
i have no sympathy for those who use thier friends
out of hand for no better reason than that they can
i mean, i could convince someone to jump off a bridge
but why would I? there's no reason for it
no excuse in even trying
if you actively seek to destroy someones life, then you
fucking scum, and deserve to suck lava through a straw for
enernity, of course, i don't necessarily believe in in
hell, or limbo, but i don't entirely dismiss anything out
no matter what my own beliefs are
so, i don't know
whom do i seek? whom do i love?
the answer at the moment is none
i wish i could get the Grrl... but that is not possible
not when she's so far, were she a block away or 2000
would still be far from me
i need to wait, i need time to sort myself out
but can she wait for me?
i am not sure i would
so, in the end, i cannot ask that of her
i would not ask anyone to do anything i myself would be
unwilling to do myself
soon, when i am ready, i will be able to make the move,
words, and grow out of this phase of indecision and
thoughts and deeds
are we then to be judged by actions alone? a cascade of
unfettered dreams and......
fuck, i am sounding like a bad shakespeare rant...
to be, to dream, to laugh
is that all there is?
my caesar within?
or the spineless fool?
whom am i?