blkdragon

grounded
2003-03-01 02:57:52 (UTC)

Tired

My son Joshua is 20 years old in April. My son and I have
been engaging in an antagonistic relationship, I don't
know why or how we arrived at it. He has been trying to
relate to me as though we were not Father and Son, he has
raised his voice to me and believes I've disrespected him.
I warned him that if it ever happened again he would have
to leave my house and he wouldn't be welcomed back, it
happened for the final time, Monday evening.
I told my son not to make long distance calls on the house
phone, I never checked the bill until the charges were
greater than normal and found that he had been disobeying
me. Apparently, if he doesn't agree with my edicts, he'll
rationalize his behavior accordingly.
He decided to argue with me about the bill and told me
that it costs me nothing, not the point, the point was
that I told him not to make the calls and he did. Finally,
I told him to leave and to give me his copies of the house
keys, he threw them on the floor and I had him pick them
up and hand them to me. He headed for the door, I followed
him and prevented him from slamming it. He went to his
friends house and he's been there since.
Wednesday, he returned to pick of some of his things and
then Thursday to drop something off. He called me this
morning from the apartment to ask for the computer
password. I told him to call and let me know when he was
coming and discussed his eventual relocation of his
reptiles (snakes and lizards).
I also let him know (in no uncertain terms)that I didn't
expect him to be in my home when I returned after work. I
never wanted our relationship to come to this and it's
affecting my youngest son's behavior as well.
Now my youngest son is now acting out and lying to me,
having a hard time being responsible, I'm hurt; angry and
trying to reamain open enough to understand how they may
be feeling.
The bottom line, I am the Father and my word is the order
of the day, can't live by my rules, you need to be
elsewhere. I heard a certain wistfulness in my son's voice
when he called, I may have been imagining it, I think he
misses what he took for granted in my home.
I'm tired of being angry and sad because my sons refuse to
recognize who I am and what I do in their name.




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