Diary of Stuff (Volume I)
2003-02-28 23:46:40 (UTC)

sum thoughts, on sum stuff...

It is the last day of the month. The calendar flips
through its pages more rapidly, I have noticed, since I was
a Junior High student in the 8th grade.

It is grey and overcast outside, as I am reminded of
precipitation, clinging to the grass, clinging to the air
in our deep breaths, giving an overwhelming sense of fear
and trepidation in our souls as our futures are blurred by
the mist that lay all around us, obscuring whatever path we
may choose to walk on. The steel grey clouds block the
warm rays of the sun that imbue this planet with life. In
loving her, you have to take her in all her guises--day,
night, clear, cloudy, rain, shine, cold, warm, humid,
arid. Her capriciousness is inherent, as discovered by
Heisenberg. She is beautiful, though, as she manifests
herself into her children, us, as we are spawned by the
seemingly chaotic disorganization that is Her. In seeking
to be loved by my true mother, I will stand in a grassy
clearing and stretch out my arms, and let her sun shine
down on me, electromagnetic energy bombarding my epidermal
layer, as the cells in my skin absorb the photons of
varying wavelengths, and cause my nerve endings to feel the
sensation of warmth. My true father is nonexistent in this
world, having not been made manifest, but his existence is
implied through symmetry and duality--you cannot have a
mother without a father, a father without a mother. My
father exists in that other world where lies our spirit,
where, after my baptism, put me in full communion with His
will, and into His graces. In discovering the authenticity
of my soul, and the everlasting presence and love of my
father, I saw creation as merely a thought in His infinite
mind, a small gesture of His infinite power. She, whom I
loved, who I thought was the ultimate origin of our selves,
became the maked, and not the maker. In working through
her temperamental moodiness with the tools of calculus and
math, I discovered that I was actually unraveling the mind
of the one who created us, in His image and likeness.
Christ, whom He sent to save us from ourselves, as we
denied His existence, suffered and died for us, as we were
His ultimate children, created out of love, to love.
You have the choice, as I see it, to choose between
your own divine soul, or that of the created world. Our
souls were not made, it has always existed, it stands
outside of time and space, properties of our created world,
eternal in its own right. The universe will collapse, or
grow cold and lifeless, but our souls will remain forever!