Guava

kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
2003-02-27 08:06:38 (UTC)

life sucks again

I found out the Summer Sanitarium Tour costs $75. I
cannot afford to go. I want to see Linkin Park. The
biggest deal is though that I think it's my only chance
this year to see Dave.

He now has no reason I can think of to decide not to
come. I know he has a girlfriend and wouldn't do anything
to hurt that.

I think I scared him last time in October or November by
saying I'd let him sleep on my floor instead of in my
neighbor's room. Anyway. I think he thought more could
happen when we were drunk than should happen. Whatever,
that's old and I've talked about it many times now.

What is bugging me currently is not getting to see him.
What if I never see him again? I know that won't happen,
but it could.

He hopped online and said hello. Then I said hello back
and asked about his day. He has yet to answer me and is
now away. I wonder what is up.

I am on the phone with Pierre and S while waiting for John
to call. He said he would call before he went to bed and
he hasn't called yet.

John did call. We are talking now.

S. got herself an online diary. I am very happy. I enjoy
reading about other people's lives. Especially people who
I know.

Like I really enjoy hearing about Dave's life. Anyone's
life for that matter. If you want to tell me about yours
I am more than willing to listen. Just shoot me an e-
mail. Even if you just need someone to bitch to.

Right now I am not in the mood to drink. Cal was going to
have a drink tonight. I just haven't wanted to. Well,
maybe when I was depressed last week. When I'm depressed
and want to drink I keep hearing Dave's words. He said
something about not drinking when I'm depressed. Only
drink for the fun of it, not to escape depression or
something. I forget now, but it seems like a good thing
to live by.

I'll leave you with that for tonight.