Book of Suicide
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2003-02-27 03:48:45 (UTC)

color blind

dig this blade deep, deep into my skin. let it saw away
what people think perfection because it is everything but.
my eyes that look feel empty, so empty, nothing comes out
and nothing goes in. it's a strange kind of empty. i
don't know if i'll ever feel full. when outside i am
beautiful, inside i am a bleeding nothing. i bleed because
i hurt, and hurt because i bleed. and because i'll never
stop hurting, i'll never stop bleeding and the same
reversed. i don't know any way to break this cycle, so
instead i feed it, nuture it, take it into everything i
am. i see things so differently than others. i don't see
warmth, but fakeness. i don't see relationships, but two
people alone in themselves holding hands. i don't see
rain, but blood. why am i so color blind? or am i the
only one that sees these colors?

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