oh make me over
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2003-02-27 00:05:40 (UTC)

you cease to amaze me..

wow.. people can be so ignorant. i was home sick.. and
puking like crazy ( lovely huh? ) and i call my mom at
work and shes too busy to listen or hear me. ugh bitch.
i dont know but shes so.. i dont know.

and on top of it. crystal calls and asks why i wasnt at
school. i said i was sick and she calls pretending to
care and says " yeah farr says you owe her hella money
" uhm and she cant tell me this cos? shes so fucking
gullable and will do anything for people to like her. and
just.. i dont know. i dont owe farrah shit. i payed her
back the 40 bucks when she let me get into GA and
NOW she is asking? if she cared so much and is so
forgettless then im sure shed ask earlier. i dont really
care i dont owe shit so oh well.

i dont know whats wrong with me but ive been getting
more and more.. i dont know. i feel so emotionless and
so blah. i need help. in all reality i stayed home cos i
was too tired of life and too tired of everything so i
decide to stay home and make myself believe im sick
and have a reason to stay home. thats all..

i saw " the one " on fox today... the one. i seriously the
one is out there for me... i bet im gonna die a slow
miserable depressing life.
speaking of the one.. why cant he see shes not right for
him?? i know it and he knows it.. hes a sucker for
anyone who loves him,... he even told me those exact
words.. he wants to feel loved, and not lonely. but shes
so wrong for him. shes so insensitive and hes soooo
sensitive.... yeah, half of this has to do with jealousy but
the other half is... theyre so wrong for eachother. shes a
bitch to him and treats him like shit, and he likes
another guy... which he dosnt wanna see. and "looks
past that" when the obvious is infront of him. and theyre
both.. well they're not in the same city.. so its hard. and
he gushes his feelings out to me. why? well im not a
true real friend.. i know him better than his real friends.
and we've only hung out a few times... and i know im
only being used for his... for him to feel secure knowing
he can get emotions out.. but all in all... im just
someone he can talk to. forget feelings.. i doubt he
knows i like him...

ah i should just stop now.. ill write more later

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