Kyden Conformity

self destruction introduction
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2001-10-09 01:32:55 (UTC)


On sunday night I attempted to break up with Steph. I cried
the whole morning and psyched myself up to speak with her,
but then when I heard her voice I started to get weak and
by the time we parted I was back to where I'd started. At
least though we talked about some of the things that are
wrong with our relationship..and can now work on them. I
really care about her so much. too much.
Last night she came over. I'd been drinking and smoking
with Janelle all afternoon and found it pretty hard to act
normal, alive, interested... but I had it together enough
to confirm the physical attraction. And then again this
morning. I'm not sure if there are many things better than
sex in the morning.
She's coming back round tonight which'll be interesting.
She said last night that she wasn't going to let me break
up with her and that she really did want to be with me.
that pleases me.

I know I'm foolish.

Today's Janelles birthday. I stole 10 cd's, 3 for Janelle,
2 for Steph and the rest to sell. I better go home and call
her to say happy b'day.

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