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3-4-01 Hey! Well, kinda been a..
Hey! Well, kinda been a while since I've last wrote.
Samantha was in the hospital the other day. She had a real
bad resperatory infection. She's out now, but still sounds
terrible. Chris and I have been together 3 months and
counting. I got a weird phone call the other day. One of my
friends professed his love for me, and really caught me off
guard. I didn't know what to say. I was put in one of those
positions where your mouth is open and you're speechless,
when you're like never ever speechless. It's hard to
explain. I know what I'm talkin 'bout and that's all that
matters. I didn't make the ball team. I felt like 1" big
then. All the self-esteem you build up over all the years
gets crushed with one little piece of paper. No matter how
much you tell yourself it's okay you feel totally different
inside. I wanted to cry when I saw that, but I didn't. I'm
not one for crying, especially in public places. Oh well,
I'll just deal with it I guess. I wanted to tell somebody
how I felt but felt like nobody would listen. I'd try to
tell Tessa, but she wouldn't listen only talk, same with
Chris, and when I tried to tell mom and dad they just sat
there and looked at me like I was stupid. I just gave up.
Anymore that's what it seems like. Oh well. I guess life
will go on. At times it seems different though. Sometimes I
wish I woulda carried out what would happened a year ago
and other times I'm glad I didn't. Well, I guess I'm out!