jain dharma girl

i'm better than a rolls...

i'm going on day 3 of my head and chest cold. my cough is
slowly getting better, and my nose is going through
occasional clear periods. i'm taking my meds, resting as
much as possible and drinking tons of fluids. i know that
i'm going to get better, but it's just going to take some
time.

my mother told me never to make a major life decision when
you're not feeling well. but this one has been coming for
quite some time. then i read the following mountain wings
issue, and things seemed crystal clear...

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MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#1145 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
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Better Than A Rolls
====================

I spent four hours one night cleaning my wife's van. It
was spotless and fragranced with powdered honeysuckle.
That's what the car fragrance smelled like that I used.

As we were driving away the next day for a family outing, I
looked in the back seat. The four-year-old was strapped
in. The two-year-old was comfortably seated in his child
seat. My wife was driving.

It was a MountainWings Moment.

MountainWings Moments occur whenever life gives us the
opportunity to take an otherwise mundane or even negative
situation, and rise to the mountaintop.

I inhaled deeply the soft honeysuckle. It was mixed with
the scent of the hair conditioner of the two-year-old. The
kids were watching a video.

I was openly pleased with the cleaning job that I had done.
Every scrap, smudge, and drop of unidentifiable kid's stuff
was gone.

"This van is great," I said.

"It's not a Rolls," my wife replied.

"No," I answered, "It's better than a Rolls Royce."

"A Rolls doesn't ride this smooth."

I have learned to find and appreciate MountainWings Moments.

We have a four-year-old Plymouth Voyager Van. I have ridden
in a Rolls Royce, it wasn't a new Rolls but I wasn't
impressed for the money.

A Rolls doesn't have the headroom of the van.
A Rolls doesn't have a TV.
A Rolls doesn't have a VCR.
A Rolls can't seat seven people or let you listen to three
sound systems at one time.
In a Rolls you can't recline the seat into a bed.

I went down the list of all of the advantages of our van
over a Rolls.

"You have a point," my wife said.

So often, the thing that you have, is so much better than
what is on the other side of the fence.

You just don't realize it.

You have to get on the mountain to see it.

You need A MountainWings Moment.

A strange thing happened after that day.

Neatness of organization is not my wife's strength.

The van is usually piled with her papers, kid's toys, and
all of the accessories that go along with kids.

I got in the van a week later.

I was shocked. It was absolutely clean.

Two weeks later.

Still spotlessly clean.

I rode with my wife yesterday (a month later), I had a
fruit bar with me. I unwrapped it and laid the wrapper
on the spotless floor behind me.

"Don't leave that wrapper on the floor," she said as she
eyed the wrapper with an extreme look of disdain.

A month ago, you would not have been able to find the
wrapper if you laid it on the floor, and the van would have
qualified as Oscar's vehicle on The Odd Couple, (he was the
junky one).

Today, it was like Felix's, (the neat one).

What in the world had happened?

I was both proud and amazed.

I asked, "What caused the change from junk mobile to
showroom condition?"

"If I wouldn't junk up a Rolls, then why should I junk up
something better than a Rolls?"

Same Van; Different Appreciation

How we treat something depends so much on how we view and
value it.

When you stop to think about it, you have a lot of things
in your world far more valuable than a Rolls Royce. The
eyes you use for reading this, are two of those many things.

Maybe there are some people and some things that you need
to put polish on, lavish sweet smelling things on, and
remove the junk from.

Maybe, just maybe, you're junking up something better than
a Rolls Royce.

A MountainWings Original
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and here is where i come to my point. i think that for a
long time, i have been frustrated with the way dave treats
me. but mw made a good point when they said, "how we treat
something depends on how much we value it".

i think that what it comes down to it is that dave's
treatement of me and of our relationship reveals how much
he truly values me and what we have.

it i had any significant value to him then he wouldn't
ignore me the way he does. or take advantage of me the way
he does. or do so little for me. mikala asked me the other
day the last time dave did something nice for me and i had
to admit it was my birthday present, which was almost three
weeks late.

most of the time it's me doing or being flexible for him. i
cannot recall the last time he made a contribution to the
relationship.

in my heart i know that i'm better than a rolls royce. so
why do i continue to "junk myself up" through toxic
relationships and bad habits. why do i let other
people "junk me up" and devalue me? when am i going to
stop? and start taking care of myself the way i deserve?

even though mom told me never to make a major decision when
i'm not feeling well, i think that i'm going to make that
decision today.