.Scream Your Dream.
so i just got back from west chester (actaully bout 45 mins
ago) we went to creep, i spent 29 dollars on records...
Alkaline trio 7"
alkaline trio goddammit
The Movie Life 7"
then we went to this deli and got sandwhiches and soup,,,
so i guess thats decent for 30 bucks even thouhg i really
only wanted that get up kids vinyl : ( oh wel anyway im
leavin in 30 mins to go with jarred and will to see
zoolander, my mom is sorta ticked cause i wheedeled here
into lettig me stay out till 10:30 so whatever... i told
will about my thing for jarred, he say he doesnt treat
alicia well, i agree with him, i dont want him as a
boyfriend, i want him as a date, ya know, spend a night
with ect ect
i know wat will wants, will wants what steve graham wants,
a girl, a girl whos nice, and sweet and a relationship
thats adorable, to love her and have her be his best
friend, to hold hands with in the back of shows, to kiss
and hug and cuddle, and to spend the night with and stay up
late and talk to, and to be adorable and wonderful and
loving and perfect and to make plans for the future with
and to move in with and be totally and compltetely head of
heals infactuated in.
i know what he wants, ive seen it so many times, so why
doesnt it work (cept for the few lucky emo-ers) i dont
know, that kind of a relationship is hard for girls. and i
told him that, girls (most) dont want ALL their time taken
up by their boyfriend, its a big commitment. i think if he
were a virign this would all be easier, why do i think
that, i dont know, but its just an innocent loving
relationship that made me cry almost. thinking abut how i
wnat nothing like that, makes me think "will i ever find a
nice emo boy??" ah well maybe not, but i wont compromise, i
know what i wnat, i want a boy to date, to have for a night
and let what happens happen, not to commit not to contol
and not to be obsessed with, i guess thats why boys and
girls differ sometime.
wills comming over in 25 mins, we are going to the movies,
jarred will be there, i thought a lot about saturday night
and jarred, i dont regret not making a move, if he wanted
to make a move he could've but i wont hurt alicia, i refuse
to make THIS a drama.
love is a word i wish to never describe my romances,
especially now, i know ive never seen real love, and thats
ok, i dont think im ready.