once again
2001-10-08 05:10:25 (UTC)


I did something that I promised I would never do again and
to make matters worse I did it with someone I work with who
isn't even that cute. I went to Jason's house for a party
with a couple people form work and got a little trashed and
they left and I only meant to stay a little while longer
and he was hitting on me. It felt nice to have someone
want me again and I'm lonely. We slept together and 1: I'm
worried he didn't pull out in time, but tomorrow I should
have the morning after pill to take careof that 2: i don't
like him. I went to his house to return a sweater that I
borrowed from him so I wouldn't freeze on the way to my car
and he was cool at first then started all the shit that
guys start when you're with him. I told him about shawn
before this happened and how he's moving here in a few
months to be with me and that I wanted to be with him.
It's his fault if he thinks we're together but I don't want
to hurt him. I especially don't want anyone at work to
know because he isn't all that great looking but he has
this awesome sense of humor. It'll be embarrsing. I don't
know what to do. I know that I can avoid him outside of
work because he doesn't have my number and he doesn't know
where I live, but is that going to be enough to make him
realize that I wont be with him? I've really started a
mess and I have to work with him tomorrow. IT's going tobe
so weird. I don't know if I need to sit down adn talk with
him or what. If someone can help me...please fell free to
do so. I don't know if I just cheated on SHawn or what.
All I know is I was lonely and I could close my eyes and
see Shawn. That's fucked up when it's not him.