2001-10-08 02:24:25 (UTC)

Well, I m going to just never..

Well, I'm going to just never write a title/topic because I
don't believe in set entrys. I'm very abstract. Okay I know
I said "I'll try to avoid abstract stuff from now on" but
hey, my life is abstract! :) I feel that is a good thing,
for other's abstractity is too stressful for them.
Sometimes for me too but hey, I can live. I'm weird and for
being weird I like weird things and abstractity is weird. I
mean just saying "abstractity" is funny. Just say that a
few times over. Okay wow, that will make even the bravest
souls run away from me. I should of made a warning at the
begining ... oh well, here's the warning now!:
Oh yeah, all that will be contain in my diary I will only
understand. I'm not smart so I won't use big words like
this one diary I read. I don't contemplate stuff. I just go
with the flow. Like that made sense right there. Anyways
I'll just talk about the rest of my day! Okay, so after I
finished writing my entry I checked out some other diaries,
two to be exact. One I got me thinking, the other was just
a tad scary. I understood where he was coming from and it
was just sad. I checked out his web site too, even sadder.
Oh well, I hope he finds his "m". Anywho, um, I wish I had
more to write in here. I need to get a guy so I can just
write how much I love him and shit in here. But no, I'm
forever alone :( Oh well... all my friends say "don't worry
you'll get a boyfriend." and so far I've seen my sister go
through like three. It's not fair. She gets all the guys
and I get "just friends". :( Okay wow, this is getting
really depressing. I hate being depressed. But I'm falling
now so nothing can stop it until I get that boost to send
me back up... then shortly it will lose it's boost and I
will sink again. This endless pattern probably will never
end. I just feel unloved and just worthless in the eyes of
others. Well, I'm probably going to regret posting this
cause now all my friends that read my profile can get on
and read this. Oh well, what will come will inevitably
come. There's no stopping inevitablity. If something could
stop the inevitable then the word would need a new meaning
now wouldn't it? Hum... what to write about now? How unfair
life is? No, already covered that. Um, how about how much I
hate my sister? Nah, waste of space. I might have to cut
this short, my dad might want to check his mail soon. I
don't want him reading this. I don't need people getting
all worried about me. I can't hurt myself. I don't like
pain, therefore I can not hurt myself, well physcially.
Grr, is really peeving me off today. It's getting
into the mood where it won't sign off the last person that
signed in. Just peeves me so much! Well, I could write
something in here about someone but they could read it so I
won't. I just won't talk about anyone else in my diary,
well except for my crushes or if I have a boyfriend, like
that'll ever happen, so as to not start stuff with my
friends. .... Well I just took a quiz at about my
flirting style and well this is what it said:
Who says you have to bat your lashes or wear a tube top to
make a guy take notice? You know that the fastest way to
get a guys' attention -- and keep it -- is to make him
laugh. One-liners, funny stories, and physical humor like
imitating bodily function noises are your specialties, and
you're a natural at it. In fact, you're so funny that half
the time it's not even about flirting you're just being
yourself, and whattya know, the guys are swarming. Just
remember that there's good humor and cheap humor, and
laughing at other people's expense can turn as many people
off as it turns on.
I don't see how I'm funny. I'm so shy it's not even funny.
I can't even crack a joke to the guy I like. I can't even
find out my flirting style. This sucks major ass! I can't
find anything out about me. I'll just take another, see if
it's really true. It's "What's The Right College For You?"
also at Okay that quiz was messed up totally.
I'm going to check out other ones, so I'll post those
results when I finish. Not like it all really matters
right? Well at least something true finally comes from one
of these quizzes:
Clueless Crusher
Hate to break it to you, but according to our findings,
you're not even a blip on your crush object's radar. That
might mean it's time to get over your current crush and
move on. Could be your crush is taken or just isn't
interested. But not necessarily. Maybe he/she just hasn't
noticed the hotness that is you. So what are you waiting
for? Make 'em notice! Start a conversation in the halls
between classes, bump into him/her, anything. Just bust a
move -- and soon -- or find someone new to crush on. There
are plenty o' hotties out there.
Yup, that's how it is with me and greg. He doesn't even
know I exist. Hard truth but reality none the less. At
least I have my dreams right. Though I never DO anything in
my dreams. Now that I think about that it could be a good
thing. Oh well... Okay I pity whoever reads this! So I'll
just wrap it up. Bye nite, I'm hittin' the hay!
Maybe I should leave something inspiring at the bottom of
all my entries from now on...