Inside me
2001-10-07 23:38:14 (UTC)

"I'm alive outside, but dead inside" - from a poem i wrote a long time ago

anything is everything and everything is nothing
can you hear me? I thought I was screaming. You say to me
I didn't say a thing. I try so hard to breathe and nothing
nothing cause i'm choking...you find it so easy that you
laugh at me but I don't hate you for it...cause I don't hate
And when you sing to me, you make me cry. No, these aren't
happy tears..and I'm not blaming you because they have all
said it's only me. You can tell me the truth...stop lying
to protect me. I know I'm not strong but stop thinking of
me so much. Stop hiding me under your cape...and stop
putting me into your little cage. I'm not who you think I
am, but why am i so different? Is different good, because
it doesn't feel good? It feels like I'm
bleeding...sometimes I do. I know how they feel now
I know how they felt before...stop pitying me..I don't want
to resent you...and I don't...but I might later. Why is it
sometimes they are born dead, never getting the chance to
experience anything? Why should I wait for anyone? Haven't
I spent all the time waiting? Nothing can put a smile on
my face now...nothing physical and nothing in my head..you
can't understand me and I hate it that you won't stop trying
Just leave me alone already, can't you see they all wear me
out? I'm so full of shit..I don't know what to say
anymore..and I don't know what to think..can you help me
help them all because I feel that I'm just too small to
make a difference. No it hasn't made a change yet and I'm
so sure it wont. I can't stop thinking of everyone
else..it's too hard when they matter so much more than me.