Jenn on Truth Serum
2001-10-07 23:09:31 (UTC)

"Systematically removed them, like any kind of termite or roach"

"Systematically removed them, like any kind of termite or

Oh, how would I love to do this to the majority of the
damned town. An adventure through this place...Let's start
with the local Wal-Mart. Every kind of freaky, trashed out,
toothless, be-mulleted freak overusing the Confederate flag
(belt buckle, hat, jacket), is in the goddamned Wal=Mart.
Then we have our motherly types. Alabama has a very
particular type of mum...the kind of half country, half
wannabe eighties dress, accompanied by the poor children,
complete with Kool-Aid stains and lack of shoes. The
mothers drag them roughlty by a mop of hair around the
garden department..nearly yelling "C'mon Elvis..we gotta
get yer Daddy some of dem shears...Alan! Get yer damned
hands out of that soil!" The kids knock into you, and you
receive the nasty glare from mum, for innocently being
knocked over by said kid....Yes, this kind of thing is
common everywhere..but Alabama overflows with em..jus' em
Let us not forget the younger females...That's right, the
ones who wish they were Hollywood, the thirty year old that
pretend they are teenagers..old enough to drink and still
reading seventeen magazine...saying "Oh my god! Oops..I
mean GOSH!" One once was in her SUV talking on her cell
phone, that "oh my god,did she really wear that?!" look all
over her face, and in her shock over Becky's oh so out of
date ensemble at work(did I mention this lady was at least
30?, decided she wanted in the turning lane, where a
nameless cool chick was in, and decides to pull on over,
nearly hitting said chicks' car, if it hadn't been for
other cool chick screaming at driver to gun it. Stupid
bitch glared at me and did the talk to the hand getsure as
I gave her my whimsical finger wave out the window. All
this to go to Wal-mart!There really is a fine example of
Alabama life at Wally-World....One question, though...why
Wal-Mart people?! TO BE CONTINUED!