American Princess

Chaos in Our Every Day Lives
2001-10-07 13:44:53 (UTC)

Psychotic Urges...

So I haven't written in awhile, but it's not because I
forgot or anything...I've just been living my chaotic life
and haven't had time! This weekend all my friends went home,
so I've been holding up the fort's kinda nice not
to have to deal with everyone's whining and bitching but at
the same time it's lonely. I needed some time to myself
though, so I guess this was exactly what I needed. This week
has been an emotional rollercoaster!!! Ok, so you remember
my friend that I was talking about that has a crush on me or
whatever...I'm tired of not using names, so he's Ben. My
boyfriend is Jason...I think those are the only ones I've
talked about, so far. Anyways, Ben was going to give me a
ride to work and since I had to be there early he said for
me to just stay at his place. So we were hanging out...I had
a cold so I was taking this medicine, Robutussin cold pills.
Yeah well, I didn't read the ingriedients and after the
sixth pill I realized that I should not have taken them
cause it has something in it my body shouldn't have. So I
was a little off my rocker, to say the least. Anyways, back
to Ben...we were about to fall asleep and he asked me if he
could kiss me...I was like SHIT! I said I didn't think it
would be a good idea, and he said that's ok...later on I was
awakened by hjim kissing me and in a state of bad judgment I
kissed him back. We made out for a little bit and then it
was time for me to go to work. I was really really confused
about all of this, cause I didn't know if I should start
dating Ben and break up with Jason or if I should tell Ben
off and remain with Jason. I told Jason what happened, two
nights later (only cause I couldn't get in touch with him
earlier) and I told him I wanted to be alone to have some
"me time"...don't ask, I have no idea. So I spent the week
not being around Jason or Ben to try to sort everything out.
In the end I realized I was being rediculous and told Jason
I wanted to be with him. He is too easy to forgive, I think,
but I love him so much that I'm very gratefull. Now, while
all this was happening, Scott (my ex...another guy I forgot
to mention) comes into play. While we were dating he stood
me up a lot, and even though he had good reasons, he never
called which was what pissed me off, and this week he
managed to do it all again, TWICE! Yeah, so anyways, other
than that I've just been working my butt off at the
wonderful Dollar Tree...that's where I work. It actually IS
a great place to work...if you don't do it for the money. I
love what I do and who I work with, so you can't ask for
much more, although a raise would be greatly appreciated!
My room is a mess and I hate it!!! I'm like this lazy neat
freak, so I hate it when the room gets like this but I'm too
lazy to actually clean it...especially when I don't have a
lot of time to do it. The thing is, usually it's my room
mate's stuff, but this time it's basically ALL mine, which
is a kick in the pants! Oh well...que sera sera!

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