madeline

October 6th, 2001

"I like persons better than principles and persons with no
principles better than anything at all."

Mood: Really pissed off
Music: REM - End of the World as we Know it

Well, it took forever to fall asleep last night. It was
great though because Briny and I talked for about 30 mins.
right before bed about getting our new apartment. If I
didn't tell you, I am coming back home at Christmas break.
I hate it here and miss Briny terribly. We have decided to
move in together. I am soooo excited about that. We have
everything all planned out and he is going apartment
hunting today. My parents know of my intentions to come
home and get an apartment, but not that I plan on having
Bri there living with me. Well, my dad is more supportive
of my mom. He doesn't believe that I will actually come
home. My mom insists I stick out the year. I'm not asking
for her permission, I am coming home at the end of the
semester. Well I woke up this morning with the worst cold
symptoms: sore throat, achy body, and stuffy nose. I hate
being sick more that anything. Especially when I'm suppose
to go home next weekend and spend time with Briny. I slept
in until about 12 which is not nearly as much sleep as I
feel I deserve. I'm exhuasted, we had finals this week.
Those things not only take it out of you emotionally, but
physically too. Plus I have been feeling super out of
shape lately and have been doing leg workouts. Youch!!!
My thighs, saddlebags, and calves are burning. My mom
called first thing this morning (afternoon), and started
nagging me about my decsion to come home. I was so pissed
at her. She keeps telling me she loves me and what not.
But if she loved me, wouldn't she want me to be happy??
Well anyways, I got off the phone with her super quick.
Told her that it hurt my throat to talk. She told me not
to block her out of my life. I said I wasn't. Grrr... I
love her, but am so unhappy with the way she tore our
family apart. She has no right to tell me what I can and
cannot do. She is the one that has caused so many problems
in my sister's and my life. Well, anyways.... We got off
the phone and less than 5 minutes later the phone rings.
Luckily I didn't pick it up. It was my grandparents
leaving an encouraging message. It was so obvious my mom
had just called them and told them to call. Grrr.... what
a way to start off the day. At least Briny woke up early
and signed on. I had someone to talk to. He really makes
me feel better when things are bugging me. I feel guilty
laying all my stuff on him though, but what are fiances
for? It is pouring here. Rachel and I had planned on
walking to Harvard, but it looks like that ain't gonna
happen. We might take the T over to Salem and
investigate. I have always wanted to go there. We shall
see. I will keep you posted on the plans. I hope I have a
better day.

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