2001-10-06 04:42:56 (UTC)


Life is so weird!!! You know everyday i think about how
nice it would be to have someone who cares about you, but
everytime i find a guy (good guys at that), i screw it up
or i just don't have those sort of feeling for him... Like
right now i am dating john and he is so sweet. He is always
around, asks me to go out to dinner, pays for everything,
and is totally in to me.. Its sweet but for some reason i
just want to push him away. I don't know why i do this but
i have done it before and i know sooner or later i will do
it again...
Another thing that is stressing me out is school... I'm a
junior in high school and i am in college right now...
everynight i have tons of homework and studing, Plus soccer
practice for 2 hours. I feel like i never have time for
myself.. and i am one of those ppl who need alone time..
and on top of soccer, school, and john, there is work.. I'm
a hostess at a restaurant where i live.. which obviously
isn't a hard job but it's just another thing i have to do..
Everything is so shitty right now.. I also have become very
distant with my closest friends.. Not so much by choice but
because they have boyfriends,and i have the schedule of an
adult.or so i feels...
I just really wish i had someone i could talk to about all
of this.. so here i am...

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