December Blue

The December Chronicles
2001-10-05 14:13:15 (UTC)


"Tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter"

- Linkin Park, The End

Well, alot has happened. At least in this... cyber realm.
So I decided to drop a line to my fans. =P

To begin with... DG. The place broke free from being a chat
division. We once again became an independant chat network,
DDD. And it all seemed to be working out. I got promoted to
Commander, and all was right with the world. But so the
shock came. Harry, our Admiral, had made a decision - to
close DDD forever. I was very sadened by this, but I came
to accept it, of course... Xander, aka Rear Admiral
Sabdivak, told me many times that Harry had gone through
huge depressions because of his chat... So I understand. I
really do. I see it from Harry's point of view.

I still ponder making a memorial site though. Harry
wouldn't be too pleased, but still. The members are still
out there. We'll stick together.

Second... Deck 39. I've left. I don't bother anymore. The
pacts, the conspiracies... I can't stand it. And some
people in there, are just so greedy. Their urge for power
is repulsive. It really is. It's good to have self-
confidence, of course, but to think so very highly of
yourself is sickening... At least to others. And I'm known
to have a good deal of patience, mind you.

Third: Inpost 11G. There have been many changes. My dear
department, for whom I've worked in for more than a year,
is merging with another department, to become Engineering.
I don't know what to think.
Bad stuff: We lose a great department.
Good stuff: We gain a bigger, leaner and meaner department
staff. *L* We can evolve even more. Plus, Eng was the first
department I even considered joining in the beginning. I
didn't have the necessary skills though. But during my time
in R&D, I have developed my skills alot. I think I'm ready
for this.

On a more personal note... School is going excellent. I've
never before felt so contented with myself or the people
around me. And love... Well, that is a story of its own.
I have my boyfriend, and I love him. He's away now though,
so I can't speak to him for almost a month... The odd thing
is, that this time it doesn't hurt quite as much as it did
before. Maybe because I have more friends to comfort me

But it hurts a little when I hear my friend Thomas talk
about his girlfriend. They've been together for a year now,
today actually, so they're out celebrating. I wish them all
the best, but I also feel jealousy. They can do such
things. At least they linger on the thought of how long
they've been in love. I doubt my guy does.
He just has other things to think of. Other priorities.
Yes, that's what I tell myself...

I think I'll stop there. Pathetic sobbing isn't anything
I'd like to do in public. Or bother anyone at all with,
really. =) 'Til next time...