freeze time to blossom eternally through
2001-10-05 07:11:23 (UTC)


i am in the fucking worst mood right now. argh. i say
argh way too much. well i just got off the phone with
mary. it was a surprisingly good conversation. im just
gonna go with whatever happens with her. i mean if we hang
out, we hang out. if not, then oh well. im still fighting
with joan. she makes me so frustrated. she is ALWAYS
right. sorry not always...but almost always. i mean ill
be telling her a story and ill get the smallest thing wrong
or say something wrong and instead of just listening
to/looking at the big picture, she picks out my mistake and
dwells on it and wont let it go until i give up and agree
with her. it sucks and i hate it! its so frustrating.
like what does it matter that my shirt was really light
blue instead of white? it doesnt. argh. im just such a
laid back person. im not one to fight with someone unless i
feel what im standing for is worth it. and a lot of things
just arent that important to me in the grand scheme of
life. i just kick back and find happiness in the smallest
and stupidest things.

then theres lisa. she found out lara was cheating on her
and she does nothing. she finds out ricky and her ex are
dating and she does nothing there either. people are
walking all over her and shes just laying down for them. i
want her to get off the fucking ground and stand up for
this shit. i mean ricky and her ex dating for awhile, and
lying about it, getting all their friends to hide it as
well. thats pretty fucked up. but she doesnt care bc she
would rather hang out with ricky i guess than actually
stand up for herself. same with lara. shed rather stay
with her than confront her about the whole cheating thing.
argh. and why do i care so much? am i in the wrong?
should i not care bc she doesnt? or should i care bc shes
my best friend and i dont want assholes to hurt her?

well dinner at my bros was cool. we watched all the new
shows; friends, will and grace, and er. my faves. ive
just been talking to some friends online and dwelling on
these thoughts that i shouldnt be. im downloading some
madonna music videos though. TIGHT. shes like a goddess.
shes so cool. not as cool as angelina, but what are you
gonna do....not everyone can be perfect. W.W.A.J.D!! lol
from now on whenever im confused about something ill just
try and figure out what angelina would do. great idea, i
know. well im gonna end this and watch some TV. hopefully
this shitty feeling will lift....