Help!...I'm married to Bart Simpson!
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March 2, 2001 It s a Thursday...
March 2, 2001 It's a Thursday.
I am gonna tell you a little bit about my husband, Joe. Joe
is 55, and I dont think he will ever grow up. Being married
to him has been like being married to Bart Simpson.
Sometimes, Joe can be funny, but most of the time he is
always doing really goofy things that always get him into
Yesterday, Joe had gone on some errands for me, and while
he was out, it seems he was stopped by the police for
speeding. When the officer came up to the window and told
him he was speeding, he decided to tell the officer that he
was rushing home because his pragnant wife was having a
Now I do have 2 grown children. A son 33 and a daughter 31,
but I can not have any more chidren. I am a grandmother,
and have 5 grandkids and one that was on the way, but was
born last nite. As it was, my pregnant daughter was
visiting, when my husband comes home being escorted by the
He pulls up into the drive, gets out, and runs into the
house, and tells my daughter to pretend to be his wife, and
tells me to act as if I am the midwife waiting to deliver
my daughters baby. My daughter wasnt due for another 2
weeks, but my daughter loves her eccentric father, and
agrees to pretend she has gone into labor. The policeman
comes into the house and sees my daughter pretending to be
in labor, and my husband was pretending to time the
contractions. I did not think Joe would be able to pull
this off, but the policeman bought the whole story, hook,
line, and sinker.
My daughter and my husband continued to carry on their
charade of being in labor even after the policeman wished
them well, and left. As it turns out, while my daughter was
pretending to be in labor, she actually went into labor.
She had planned to have a home birth, so we called her
husband, and told him Joe and I would bring her home. So
off we went to my daughters house to have a baby. Joe drove
her car, while I drove her in our car. On the way, Joe
decides to stop and have her car washed and also stop at
the store and go shopping for the baby. We had been at her
house for an hour, when Joe shows up escorted again by
another policeman. Yes, he had been stopped again for
speeding. Twice in the same day! But this time he told the
nice officer the truth. And my daughter did not have to
pretend to be in labor.
As it turns out, we have a new baby granddaughter! I just
got home and that is why I am up so early. It is now time
for me to go to bed and get some rest.