freeze time to blossom eternally through
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2001-10-04 19:41:38 (UTC)

people like me...

so its thursday around noon. im listening to linkin park
again. the first track is such a good song. the whole cd
is actually bomb. its been a very long time since i have
liked a whole cd. well joan and i are kinda fighting right
now. im not too happy with the kid. but what can you do?
she said shell change for me...but i dont want that. i
mean i dunno. i wouldnt change for her i guess. i dont
think love is about changing...maybe compromising, but
never changing. i could be totally wrong...i mean what do
i really know?

so i went out with chad on tuesday and wednesday night. we
saw ‘hearts in atlantis’ on tuesday night and then went to
get something to drink at fridays. he paid for everything.
its been a long time since i have been spoiled like that.
the movie...ugh. i mean it wasnt bad but it wasnt good
either. it was just there. i have movies that i have such
high hopes for. i seriously thought this was going to be a
GREAT movie. but i left the movie theatre a little
disappointed. oh well what can you do. i hate it when i
have more vision than the director. i see all these movies
with such great potential and then it just gets all fucked
up and the movie sucks. argh. i need to be a director and
i will only make great movies. lol...yeah right. i cant
even get a journal entry to seem that interesting.

well last night when chad picked me up we went and hung out
with my friends, lisa, ricky and jason. i wonder what he
thought of them. he was so sweet though...he was rubbing
my arm as we sat there watching the simpsons and all the
other wednesday night fox shows. we stopped by his house
after that and then we went to applebees and had a drink.
when we left 2 of our friends were outside smoking a
cigarette. they work at the OG too. one was this girl,
jaime and the other a girl name valerie. both are cool as
hell. theres something about jaime that im so drawn to.
shes blonde and has great blue eyes. shes not that pretty
but theres just something about her. shes so nice and seems
just like a good person. shes pretty fuckin funny too.
valerie is hilarious. shes so funny and she tells me all
the time how funny i am. i think its so cool when someone
you think is funny, tells you that you are funny. its like
such a compliment to me. i was telling valerie that a
couple days ago and she said “you ARE funny. you crack me
up all the time. plus, i like people with a good state of
consciousness, and you have a great state of
consciousness.” i took that as a great compliment. so
we’re sitting out there talking to them and they told me
how the only time they go up to where the hostess’s are is
bc im there, so i can make them laugh and stuff. i was
like awwwwwww. so finally we all departed and chris took
me home. i showed him my room and we watched a video on my
computer. he had never seen linkin parks video of ‘in the
end’ so i played it for him. after that i walked him out
and gave him a few hugs and 2 short pecks. i have so many
hang ups about kissing that i try to avoid the first real
kiss at all costs. after that its all better though.

so after he left i called joan. we got into that stupid
fight. argh. it was a great conversation too, until we
started arguing about something. she is THE worst person to
argue with. she will not listen to your side at all. as
soon as you say something that she disagrees with, its all
downhill. she will proceed to tell you why your are wrong
but will not listen to any defense at all. its just her
blabbing about how youre wrong and shes right. and she
always has to be right. argh. its so annoying. so i
talked to peter and jerome. jerome is all mad at me as
well. he told me that im the last girl hes going to fall
for. ok i had no idea he had even falled for me. and he
asked “ill never be an important part of your life as long
as im here, huh?” here being 5 hours away. i said that he
was an important part of my life. and he is. i love him
so much. hes the only guy i could see myself marrying.
but i am only 21. ah well what can you do.

i have to end going to get my haircut. ill post
tonight again hopefully. i have to go to my bros house
tonight for din din. so i will talk to you all tonight!
stay be continued.

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