Sal Paradise

Homosexual Tendencies

Rob was getting married to who he thought was the
woman of his dreams--Sarah. It was a week before they got
married and Sarah was already in Hawaii, where they
would "tie the knot." Rob was still back at home in sunny
California. The day before he caught his plane to Hawaii
to start getting ready for the biggest day of his life, he
saw a man walking down Melrose Avenue (the street he lived
on). He was intrigued by this man. Natural golden blonde
hair, glimmering bright blue eyes, lean built body, about
6'2', and a smile like that one of a drugged woman having
an orgasm. He was dazed at the sight of such a handsome
man. But Rob was going to be marrying a woman in one
week! How could he explain this to himself? He simply
calmed himself down and went for a cup of coffee at the
nearest coffee shop.
"Hi, Sir. What can I get you today?" asked the young
man working at Starbucks. The youngster was about
seventeen years old-Rob was twenty-two. The boy was light
skinned and had jet black hair with his bottom lip
pierced. Again, Rob started to feel a certain attraction
to the worker. "Uh, Sir... Can I get you anything?
Today?" said the kid. "Ah, yes," replied Rob. "Give me a
double latte with extra whip cream." "Coming up. What's
your name anyway, mister?" At Starbucks (coffee house), it
is a must for the worker to ask the customer for their name
and write it on their item. They do this to prevent any
mix ups. So, when asked his name, Rob's palms began to
sweat. As though his mouth and nose were being covered and
boiling hot water were poured into his hands. He began
panting and shakingly asked, "my..my..my name?" "Ugh, I do
not have all day, mister," snapped the seventeen your
old. "Can you please tell me your name or what you'd like
to be called so that I can put it on your order?" "Rob.
My.. my name is Rob." "thank you, ROB!" and the kid
hurried and made Rob his drink.
When he finished, alarmed, Rob hurried home in his
purple tinted car and called his best friend, Anita
Arroz. "Oh my god, Anna!" Rob cried to his friend. "I
have to talk to you and it's some real deep shit, girl."
Anita was startled by Rob's tone of voice. "what?" Anita
demamnded. "Robert, I want you to tell me NOW!" "Okay
Ani, I saw this guy earlier in the day and for some strange
reason, I think, I THINK I was attracted to him."
Confessed Rob to his "bestest friend," as he'd call
her. "Is that it(!)?" Anita screamed. "You called me to
tell me that you are having homosexual tendencies?" "Yes,
Ani." "Oh, ok. So tell me," said Anita, "was he cute?"
This is all a bit confusing because Anita was going to be
the maid of honor. "Ani, I am going to marry Sarah in
exactly one week and I am looking at guys' asses?" "Uh,
Rob, are you telling me you're gay?" asked the best
friend. "Well, I'm not sure but there's something like
that there...." Rob worried. "Hey Rob, I always knew you
were a fag." Confessed Anita. She didn't mean it in an
offensive way, either. It was just such an intimate, yet
casually humorous relationship they had that the capability
to say anything to one another. "Well, Ani, what the hell
should I do?" Rob worried some more. "Tell Sarah." Anita
said. "Anita Arroz! I CANNOT tell, Sarah! You very well
know that, woman!" "Well, then, I really don't know what
to tell you." Rob hung up on his best friend and
immediately called his fiance.
"Aloha, may I speak to Miss Sarah Lee, please?" said
Rob to the hotel manager where Sarah was staying
at. "ROBBY! Honey!" hollared Sarah. "Are you coming yet,
baby?" "Sarah, I have to talk to you," said Rob softly and
shamefully to his beloved. "Are you okay, Robby?" asked
Sarah. "Sarah, please take a seat." "oh, wait, before you
say anything Rob, I wanted to let you know that I no longer
need your money, car, or love. I found a Hawaiian man who
can satisfy my every need." Rob gasped. "Sarah!" he
called out. "Sorry Robby...." the tart replied. "I just
wanted to tell YOU that I'm gay." "What! You were going
to marry me knowing you like men?" Sarah's voice began to
nag Rob little by little. "How dare you?" It began to nag
him more and more and MORE AND MORE! "Sarah, you're the
one who has planned to leave ME! I was just going to tell
you I was gay." And the new self realized homosexual hung
the phone up to the biggest mistake of his life.