Forever_broken

Is today over yet?

Well hello to all that reads. this is my first entry.
Normally i hand write in a journal but felt like
interacting with the outside world. School basically sucks,
well it being the fourth year of college it should be
better but not when you can't find a decent guy to hold
your hand and hug you when its bad. Wehn your 17 year old
sister, well now 18 has a three month old that she barely
takes care of. Your 19 year old brother may be a father,
paternity test pending that is, your ten year old brother
accidently lighting and abandoned house on fire, well with
a friend. You know its something they do these days. Now me
being 21 wonders should i addopt my niece. She is the most
precious and adorable baby that just wants to be loved like
everyone else. but her mother disrespects everyone and just
got in a fight with my parents. My father didn't hit her
but was ready to kill her so i took the baby to my room and
locked my door. Now i have a major exam to study for with a
baby on my lap. An exam that i was supposed to take today
but asked for a day extension cause i am afraid to fail the
class. My knee is killing me from working, I work as a
waitress but i don't want a prescription pain pill cause
lord knows what could happen with that. I might get carried
away and take the whole damned bottle for heartache. But
then again I am catholic and would like to see heaven one
day. Well basically life sucks. I was actually interested
in a guy, the first time in a few months but he never
called and its been two weeks that he has my number. I
would like to hear something from him but I am not getting
my hopes up. Anyway, I should attempt to study,, but I am
shaking like crazy. People say don't worry, well how the
hell can I not when everything around me is collapsing like
a moving chain of dominos. Is your life any better?